Real Marriage by Mark Driscoll

“Marriage is about friendship.”(page 23)

I recently finished reading Mark and Grace Driscoll’s book, “[amazon_link id=”140020383X” target=”_blank” ]Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together[/amazon_link]“. This is absolutely needed in the church today. In fact, in nearly 30 years as a believer, I have never seen this issue hit so head on.

I so appreciate Mark and Grace’s honesty in opening up their past and marriage to public scrutiny. Their basic premise, before diving into an overview of marriage as well as very specific “can you do that” questions, is that marriage is based on a friendship. So often marriage is about a feeling of love. This shows a view that is much more African, one where marriage is a choice and a commitment.

In a world where marriage is quickly falling out of favor, the Driscoll’s contribute a fantastic piece promoting exclusive commitment. Much of the media’s portrayal of marriage is negative. While in a flat line condition, this book has the potential to “shock” marriage back to life; first in the church, and hopefully outside it as well.

My hat is off to the Driscoll’s for their honesty and for tackling a subject that so many pulpits avoid. They have received and will continue to receive criticism for their honest, pull no punches, approach.

They have a great use of Scripture, especially when they answer the “Can you do this” type questions. Their format involves three basic questions based from 1 Corinthians.

Is is lawful? (or Biblical)
Is it helpful?
Is it enslaving?

They present Biblical conclusions, but advocate agreement among couples. Even if something is permissible in marriage, there must be consensus from both partners.

Driscoll also takes aims at “boys who shave.” Addressing an epidemic of young men who live at home, mooch off their parents, yet should be functioning adults in society. For this demographic, Driscoll is down right prophetic. Having come across a fair share of these in 20 years of discipleship and missions, I say “Amen.”

The main point I disagree on is their view of marriage being conducted in only one way. The Driscoll’s hold a male headship view and tear down the egalitarian view. Yet if you see how they live out their marriage, it seems the gap is not so broad. Mark even calls his wife a “functional pastor.” It is this line of thought that I will dive into as we look at “Who’s The Boss? Two Views on Marriage.“

Until then……

Buy This Book! Real Marriage by Mark Driscoll

[amazon_image id=”140020383X” link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together[/amazon_image]

This book coupled with Tim Keller’s “[amazon_link id=”0525952470″ target=”_blank” ]The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God[/amazon_link]”, have thrust marriage into the spotlight. I feel like this is a key time in the growth of the church to see  a reformation within the realm of marriage

Marriage is friendship – this takes time and investment.

They close the book telling couples, “the most important day of your marriage is your last one.” (page 207).  We often emphasize the wedding day, but a successful marriage is build little by little, day in and day out.

It is time to see marriage, good marriage, come back in style.

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Disclaimer: This reveiew is based soley on the content of the book. I do not agree with evey activity described in the book, but the basic premise and approach to marriage.  I have not heard nor cannot vouch for every sermon or interview that Mark Driscoll gives.